








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1873 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2241 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1133 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,053 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aW[dd] | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | LiNkS | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | fusioN[dd] | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | El Professor[dd] | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | pcoon | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Candyman | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | deeebeee | 35% | 20 |
| #10 | element | 34% | 32 |
| #11 | sTarK x_0 | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | Ryan.zmp | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | element | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | dyeL!fe[dd] | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | pcoon | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | s t e a l t h l o l | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Candyman | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s t e a l t h l o l | 256 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | dyeL!fe[dd] | 119 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | LiNkS | 101 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | El Professor[dd] | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | pcoon | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pcoon | +3.05 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | element | +2.63 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | Candyman | +0.86 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | El Professor[dd] | +0.64 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | dyeL!fe[dd] | -0.10 | 66 | 64 |





