








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2129 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3151 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4194 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,108 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora 空 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | John Globson | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | element | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | Ryan.zmp | 53% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | warchyld[dd] | 47% | 34 |
| #10 | sTarK x_0 | 47% | 34 |
| #11 | LiNkS | 47% | 144 |
| #12 | deeebeee | 44% | 36 |
| #13 | Flow | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan.zmp | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | s t e a l t h l o l | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | element | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | warchyld[dd] | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan.zmp | 400 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | LiNkS | 386 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | s t e a l t h l o l | 344 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 293 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | dyeL!fe[dd] | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | element | +2.65 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | pcoon | +1.60 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | John Globson | +0.98 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | sTarK x_0 | +0.40 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | OranG | -0.58 | 45 | 60 |





