








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 29% |
| Smokes | 790 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1193 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 758 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,978 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KISMAAHHH | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | mike481 | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | KNAVE | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | tkefni | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | yonji | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sup3rant | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Jepeto | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | OlmO | 49% | 69 |
| #10 | Gab (YoungPretzel) | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | JODII | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | 23 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | KNAVE | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Gab (YoungPretzel) | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | OlmO | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | tkefni | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | tkefni | 115 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #3 | OlmO | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gab (YoungPretzel) | 101 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jepeto | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KNAVE | +3.63 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | yonji | +2.76 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Jepeto | +2.21 | 77 | 71 |
| #4 | sup3rant | +1.87 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | mike481 | +1.39 | 84 | 52 |





