








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1467 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1568 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1683 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,123,195 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | star1x | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Pilon | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | mike481 | 66% | 59 |
| #4 | sup3rant | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | OlmO | 64% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | 41 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | mike481 | 13 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | tenski | 12 | 0.0379 |
| #4 | samsamsamm | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Pilon | 5 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | 348 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | GUCCI cArL | 318 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | mike481 | 267 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | samsamsamm | 249 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mitaine | 127 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KNAVE | +3.31 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | sup3rant | +2.60 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | tenski | +2.45 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | yonji | +1.72 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | GUCCI cArL | +1.47 | 76 | 59 |





