








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4288 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4536 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4023 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3072 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,449,242 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucauwio | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Qlipzi | 57% | 63 |
| #3 | -txN | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | MF_James | 52% | 98 |
| #5 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Qlipzi | 57% | 63 |
| #3 | -txN | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | MF_James | 52% | 98 |
| #5 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | wheelkill4food | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | -txN | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 485 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Qlipzi | 270 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | -txN | 143 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lucauwio | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | wheelkill4food | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucauwio | +2.02 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | Qlipzi | +1.87 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | +0.89 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | wheelkill4food | +0.11 | 48 | 57 |
| #5 | Pander | -0.25 | 37 | 61 |





