








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 740 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1281 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,154 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | aLN | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | Pander | 47% | 43 |
| #13 | Flashbang | 46% | 41 |
| #14 | quilty | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | Caf | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Flashbang | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Glass | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | consumerist scum | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 221 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Caf | 133 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pander | 127 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Glass | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Flashbang | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s3ryn | +2.96 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | t7 | RATS | +1.63 | 68 | 45 |
| #3 | consumerist scum | +1.36 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | Caf | +1.31 | 74 | 78 |
| #5 | wheelkill4food | +0.74 | 48 | 55 |





