








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Wingman | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4809 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5551 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3040 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3974 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,579,588 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucauwio | 57% | 91 |
| #2 | Pander | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | MF_James | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucauwio | 57% | 91 |
| #2 | Pander | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | MF_James | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlipzi | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lucauwio | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | MF_James | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pander | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlipzi | 519 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | MF_James | 382 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lucauwio | 299 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pander | 221 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlipzi | +2.09 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | Lucauwio | +1.28 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | -txN | +0.67 | 58 | 42 |
| #4 | MF_James | -0.48 | 45 | 80 |
| #5 | Pander | -1.73 | 31 | 63 |





