








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3179 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1813 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3605 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,117 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiser | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Brodobagins | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Caf | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | AREKRAM | 59% | 95 |
| #5 | coding | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Qlipzi | 57% | 105 |
| #9 | 01010101 | 55% | 38 |
| #10 | sascha | 53% | 53 |
| #11 | MF_James | 50% | 46 |
| #12 | W1nter | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -txN | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Qlipzi | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | MF_James | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 01010101 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Caf | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlipzi | 463 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | sascha | 414 | 0.36 | 11 min |
| #3 | MF_James | 216 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | -txN | 198 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | W1nter | 140 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sascha | +4.06 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | AREKRAM | +1.19 | 81 | 31 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | +1.12 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | Lucauwio | +0.69 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | W1nter | +0.25 | 69 | 66 |





