








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2728 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3975 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,980 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeBipp | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | Feet Lover 11 | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | OnlyLans | F S K | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | jester | 55% | 148 |
| #5 | givy | 55% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Shady Milkman | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | Abe | 38% | 50 |
| #13 | TEANIE PEANIR | 38% | 77 |
| #14 | Nemo | 33% | 27 |
| #15 | alex | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daddybeef [oxy] | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TEANIE PEANIR | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Geetah | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | y0gi | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | jester | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jester | 555 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | givy | 471 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | rsaavy | 427 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | 312 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | daddybeef [oxy] | 184 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | +4.18 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | OnlyLans | F S K | +3.19 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | givy | +2.13 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | Abe | +1.30 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | joshgc | +0.49 | 69 | 51 |





