








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4570 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3637 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1939 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,006,280 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluq | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | JeBipp | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | jester | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | givy | 51% | 141 |
| #5 | joshgc | 51% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | joshgc | 51% | 104 |
| #6 | daddybeef [oxy] | 51% | 77 |
| #7 | rsaavy | 48% | 91 |
| #8 | Feet Lover 11 | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | Geetah | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluq | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | joshgc | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | jester | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | rsaavy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | daddybeef [oxy] | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givy | 317 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | rsaavy | 315 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | jester | 310 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | joshgc | 302 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Fluq | 215 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givy | +1.86 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Fluq | +1.81 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | joshgc | +0.79 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | +0.40 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | jester | +0.15 | 45 | 64 |





