








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4753 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2231 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4331 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,331 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feet Lover 11 | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Nemo | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | givy | 56% | 167 |
| #4 | OnlyLans | F S K | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | san1ty[st] | 55% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | rsaavy | 50% | 103 |
| #9 | Geetah | 48% | 58 |
| #10 | y0gi | 48% | 23 |
| #11 | TEANIE PEANIR | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | Abe | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshgc | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Geetah | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | san1ty[st] | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | daddybeef [oxy] | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | y0gi | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givy | 412 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | joshgc | 410 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | rsaavy | 401 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | 264 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Geetah | 120 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | +3.01 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | OnlyLans | F S K | +2.94 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | givy | +2.88 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | Abe | +1.35 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | joshgc | +1.00 | 77 | 56 |





