








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3056 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3316 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2144 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1124 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,825 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geetah | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | daddybeef [oxy] | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Feet Lover 11 | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | givy | 52% | 151 |
| #5 | joshgc | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Feet Lover 11 | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | givy | 52% | 151 |
| #5 | joshgc | 51% | 110 |
| #6 | jester | 50% | 103 |
| #7 | san1ty[st] | 48% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | san1ty[st] | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | joshgc | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Geetah | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | givy | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | daddybeef [oxy] | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jester | 377 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | givy | 354 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | joshgc | 312 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | 277 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | daddybeef [oxy] | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givy | +2.67 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | joshgc | +0.47 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | rsaavy | +0.13 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | +0.13 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | jester | +0.01 | 48 | 62 |





