








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1897 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3980 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2402 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,328,041 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jester | 56% | 167 |
| #2 | joshgc | 55% | 194 |
| #3 | Hyper | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Feet Lover 11 | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | rsaavy | 52% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rsaavy | 52% | 151 |
| #6 | daddybeef [oxy] | 51% | 121 |
| #7 | san1ty[st] | 51% | 141 |
| #8 | Geetah | 49% | 83 |
| #9 | y0gi | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshgc | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Geetah | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | jester | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Hyper | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jester | 625 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | joshgc | 607 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | rsaavy | 569 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | san1ty[st] | 411 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | daddybeef [oxy] | 222 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyper | +3.84 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | givy | +2.75 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | joshgc | +0.83 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | jester | -0.04 | 48 | 65 |
| #5 | san1ty[st] | -0.51 | 61 | 65 |





