








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2425 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2628 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2232 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,326,488 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake Plissken | 58% | 146 |
| #2 | N1kRM | 56% | 135 |
| #3 | ZE[B]conn ^ /A/ | 55% | 138 |
| #4 | scapa | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Stein @ killingwebsites.de | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DOYA | 53% | 57 |
| #9 | VLncr | 52% | 44 |
| #10 | Noname | 52% | 27 |
| #11 | kloNdaik <3 KPO | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | OneUP | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kRM | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Snake Plissken | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ZE[B]conn ^ /A/ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | DOYA | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | VLncr | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake Plissken | 290 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | N1kRM | 289 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | kaesekuchen. | 209 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | ZE[B]conn ^ /A/ | 199 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | DOYA | 157 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VLncr | +2.41 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | N1kRM | +2.30 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Stein @ killingwebsites.de | +1.92 | 56 | 50 |
| #4 | Snake Plissken | +0.33 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | kaesekuchen. | +0.31 | 47 | 75 |





