








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 343 matches | ||
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8145 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6993 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5734 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6020 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,918 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | .Antimate | 52% | 79 |
| #13 | DOYA | 51% | 467 |
| #14 | VLncr | 50% | 282 |
| #15 | kloNdaik <3 KPO | 47% | 38 |
| #16 | geno | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOYA | 1431 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #2 | VLncr | 649 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | DER PROFESSOR | 419 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | .Antimate | 339 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | kloNdaik <3 KPO | 221 | 0.26 | 6 min |





