








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5387 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4677 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4154 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,375,729 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | 50% | 197 |
| #2 | DGxShAdOwZz | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 48% | 304 |
| #4 | Heffe | 48% | 216 |
| #5 | b l u e | 43% | 143 |





