








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6268 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5536 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7382 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6292 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,027,256 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | Extremogato | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | DanWhoElse | 51% | 125 |
| #4 | Flap | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | alex | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Cypher64 | 47% | 70 |
| #12 | m | 43% | 42 |
| #13 | sdo | 42% | 50 |
| #14 | TEANIE PEANIR | 41% | 49 |
| #15 | Kohnert | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Flap | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | DanWhoElse | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Cypher64 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Nemo | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 709 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | DanWhoElse | 699 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #3 | Panda!? | 533 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | Flap | 472 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | TheBonk | 252 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | +3.30 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | Flap | +0.99 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | DanWhoElse | +0.96 | 78 | 80 |
| #4 | Extremogato | +0.93 | 54 | 49 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | +0.65 | 64 | 71 |





