








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 558 matches | ||
| Faceit | 448 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 66,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22820 | 35% |
| Smokes | 16054 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 12370 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14886 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,711 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drm- | 52% | 467 |
| #2 | cancel | 51% | 125 |
| #3 | ZuLaN | 50% | 310 |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | 50% | 193 |
| #5 | Panda!? | 49% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cancel | 51% | 125 |
| #3 | ZuLaN | 50% | 310 |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | 50% | 193 |
| #5 | Panda!? | 49% | 324 |
| #6 | Flap | 49% | 352 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | drm- | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Flap | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | cancel | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drm- | 1452 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | ZuLaN | 1306 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #3 | Flap | 1024 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #4 | Panda!? | 976 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #5 | HunterCruzer | 890 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanWhoElse | +1.08 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | drm- | +0.65 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Flap | +0.05 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | ZuLaN | +0.03 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | cancel | -0.10 | 56 | 67 |





