








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 507 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6582 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6730 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6438 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5941 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,527 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flumsy | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | Kev1n | 59% | 190 |
| #3 | pt | 59% | 209 |
| #4 | Fra | 58% | 147 |
| #5 | massey | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fra | 58% | 147 |
| #5 | massey | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | Longo | 56% | 218 |
| #7 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 56% | 262 |
| #8 | Klingande | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Longo | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | massey | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Kev1n | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | pt | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pt | 1768 | 0.36 | 55 min |
| #2 | Longo | 778 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 760 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #4 | Fra | 391 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Kev1n | 298 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pt | +2.14 | 78 | 82 |
| #2 | ferkel. | +1.05 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Longo | +0.66 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | Fra | +0.25 | 76 | 75 |
| #5 | Flumsy | -0.27 | 84 | 62 |





