








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 478 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9097 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6807 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4246 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4060 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,370 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'ONSCREEN' | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | massey | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 59% | 365 |
| #4 | Fra | 59% | 377 |
| #5 | Longo | 59% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ferkel. | 59% | 209 |
| #7 | Klingande | 58% | 168 |
| #8 | Kev1n | 56% | 274 |
| #9 | Flumsy | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | bp21 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Longo | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Kev1n | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Fra | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | massey | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fra | 976 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #2 | Longo | 890 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #3 | ♛ τB1ZLE_* | 886 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #4 | ferkel. | 556 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Kev1n | 354 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pt | +2.25 | 81 | 81 |
| #2 | ferkel. | +0.98 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | Longo | +0.41 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | Fra | +0.20 | 74 | 77 |
| #5 | Kev1n | -0.24 | 83 | 59 |





