








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1475 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1739 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,360 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pcoon | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | c0ld m1lk | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | OranG | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | vic*m4 | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | carpenter | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | dip ship | 47% | 38 |
| #18 | jarrod | 46% | 71 |
| #19 | n4yrb | 43% | 46 |
| #20 | sheenmachine | 40% | 20 |
| #21 | okclake | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n4yrb | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | OranG | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Swave | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 196 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 160 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #3 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | dip ship | 142 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | n4yrb | 137 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swave | +2.21 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | draWsouL | +1.99 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | chris | +1.63 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | c0ld m1lk | +1.40 | 80 | 83 |
| #5 | gaul | +1.27 | 81 | 59 |





