










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3363 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3920 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3587 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3724 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,038 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .js | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Kapkan | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | TwiZzy | 52% | 118 |
| #5 | Francis J | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Kapkan | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | TwiZzy | 52% | 118 |
| #5 | Francis J | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Kazuto | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapkan | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Kazuto | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | TwiZzy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | .js | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwiZzy | 179 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | .js | 160 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kapkan | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kazuto | 129 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazuto | +2.67 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Francis J | +1.34 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Evgenij | +1.33 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | Kapkan | -0.05 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | .js | -0.45 | 49 | 73 |





