








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Esplay | 42 matches | 2,037 | |
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8553 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6132 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3249 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4609 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,543 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smud.arney | 77% | 86 |
| #2 | artie | 76% | 55 |
| #3 | .tob | 75% | 105 |
| #4 | torhenn | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | hogelele | 65% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MOTOR | 62% | 29 |
| #8 | Hugh | 60% | 45 |
| #9 | dennis.@' | 59% | 29 |
| #10 | monty | 58% | 38 |
| #11 | Jungle Jonas | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dennis.@' | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hogelele | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | MOTOR | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | .tob | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | 421 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | artie | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | torri | 145 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | smud.arney | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | monty | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | +3.09 | 78 | 79 |
| #2 | DKOP | +1.77 | 80 | 86 |
| #3 | torhenn | +1.12 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | MOTOR | +0.56 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | hogelele | +0.47 | 83 | 61 |





