








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4344 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3820 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2757 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2732 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,849 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bbombadi | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Wings of Redemption | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | Tabster | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 53% | 243 |
| #5 | TeeqsV2 | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TeeqsV2 | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | ArdyXX | 50% | 98 |
| #7 | Carl | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | Luniiks (Professional Plower) | 47% | 47 |
| #9 | Leek | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Luniiks (Professional Plower) | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Wings of Redemption | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Tabster | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | bbombadi | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 792 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Wings of Redemption | 254 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Luniiks (Professional Plower) | 185 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | bbombadi | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Carl | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wings of Redemption | +1.94 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | bbombadi | +1.67 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Adriaaaan | +1.35 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Luniiks (Professional Plower) | +0.61 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | Leek | +0.50 | 69 | 52 |





