








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4047 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4275 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2999 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,172 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Captain Rex | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | -B1ade- #dtd | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | ThatOneDeadAirpod | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | Adriaaaan | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | -B1ade- #dtd | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Captain Rex | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ArdyXX | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Adriaaaan | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 472 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | -B1ade- #dtd | 148 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Adriaaaan | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ThatOneDeadAirpod | 112 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wings of Redemption | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -B1ade- #dtd | +4.34 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | Wings of Redemption | +3.01 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Adriaaaan | +1.60 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Tabster | +1.34 | 60 | 70 |
| #5 | Captain Rex | +0.51 | 58 | 34 |





