








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2260 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 256 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 93,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21454 | 23% |
| Smokes | 22352 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 29232 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 20482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,373,186 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | JB | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 52% | 174 |
| #4 | bbombadi | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | Tr41n | 51% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | JB | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 52% | 174 |
| #4 | bbombadi | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | Tr41n | 51% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Tr41n | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | JB | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | bbombadi | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ParadoX♡ | 590 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | bbombadi | 455 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | 361 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | JB | 349 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | Tr41n | 110 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | +3.24 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | +1.89 | 51 | 73 |
| #3 | bbombadi | +1.80 | 65 | 73 |
| #4 | Tr41n | +1.32 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | ♡ParadoX♡ | +0.80 | 62 | 67 |





