










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 863 | 32% |
| Smokes | 736 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,853 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bzezouz69 | 47% | 62 |
| #6 | Eggsy | 46% | 56 |
| #7 | c'est folichou <3 | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | Kisskissbankbank | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bzezouz69 | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | chpeederman | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | c'est folichou <3 | 6 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | Eggsy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsy | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | chpeederman | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | c'est folichou <3 | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kisskissbankbank | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | NiamoR | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsy | +7.04 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | NiamoR | +5.83 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | | +2.70 | 60 | 37 |
| #4 | bzezouz69 | +1.39 | 67 | 32 |
| #5 | chpeederman | +1.21 | 43 | 52 |





