








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 472 | 28% |
| Smokes | 443 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 507 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,956 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dxprxssxd999 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | nightmare | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | joedan flanibert | 80% | 20 |
| #4 | Alexander Wankerton | 75% | 16 |
| #5 | Henrique | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Henrique | 4 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Alexander Wankerton | 4 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | nightmare | 4 | 0.0186 |
| #5 | joedan flanibert | 3 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | joedan flanibert | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Henrique | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Alexander Wankerton | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dxprxssxd999 | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joedan flanibert | +7.51 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | eskibub | +4.80 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | Dxprxssxd999 | +3.76 | 44 | 70 |
| #4 | Henrique | +2.59 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Joe | +2.52 | 82 | 55 |





