








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1533 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1324 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,957 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | greg heffley #BLM | 68% | 28 |
| #6 | Koji | 67% | 118 |
| #7 | ✪creeperjo | 64% | 183 |
| #8 | Nightmare | 62% | 21 |
| #9 | areb | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪creeperjo | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Koji | 18 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Joe | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | greg heffley #BLM | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Nightmare | 5 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 368 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪creeperjo | 339 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Koji | 331 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | greg heffley #BLM | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ROAD TO GLOBAL (SILVER 2) | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |





