








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 142 | 17% |
| Smokes | 140 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 288 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,005 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonttuJT | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | santerin iskä | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | Tostakumärepäsen | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | seviB | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | HedelmaPeli | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tostakumärepäsen | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | seviB | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | HedelmaPeli | 35% | 20 |
| #6 | v1hu | 35% | 20 |
| #7 | JIIPEE | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | santerin iskä | 28 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | JonttuJT | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | v1hu | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | HedelmaPeli | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | seviB | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonttuJT | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | santerin iskä | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | HedelmaPeli | 68 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | seviB | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | v1hu | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beetlejuice | +3.00 | 86 | 25 |
| #2 | santerin iskä | +2.59 | 90 | 51 |
| #3 | seviB | +2.13 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | v1hu | +0.75 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | JIIPEE | -1.14 | 52 | 48 |





