








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1154 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2842 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,568 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadman | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | nomis | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | -1 sYNDROme | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Supreme Banana | 47% | 242 |
| #5 | anne | 46% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | 43% | 79 |
| #8 | John Wilkes Booth | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | Gumbo Slice | 42% | 72 |
| #10 | The Erie Eggplant | 37% | 43 |
| #11 | Torta Pounder | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonkeyNut | 57 | 0.0271 |
| #2 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | 55 | 0.0356 |
| #3 | Supreme Banana | 49 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | nomis | 39 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | Gumbo Slice | 18 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomis | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gumbo Slice | 211 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | anne | 155 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | deadman | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | +1.51 | 48 | 56 |
| #2 | John Wilkes Booth | +1.26 | 55 | 9 |
| #3 | Nana Jr. | +0.94 | 45 | 37 |
| #4 | deadman | +0.20 | 39 | 55 |
| #5 | -1 sYNDROme | +0.07 | 60 | 46 |





