








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3419 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2787 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3327 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,202 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1810 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swuunky | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | deadman | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Maniac.0330 | 50% | 153 |
| #4 | Nana Jr. | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | Supreme Banana | 50% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | deadman | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Maniac.0330 | 50% | 153 |
| #4 | Nana Jr. | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | Supreme Banana | 50% | 111 |
| #6 | SwagSquatch | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme Banana | 21 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Nana Jr. | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | deadman | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Maniac.0330 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | SwagSquatch | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadman | 166 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Maniac.0330 | 132 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nana Jr. | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Swuunky | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Supreme Banana | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagSquatch | +4.12 | 45 | 42 |
| #2 | Nana Jr. | +1.04 | 47 | 44 |
| #3 | deadman | +0.75 | 43 | 49 |
| #4 | Maniac.0330 | -0.45 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | Supreme Banana | -1.03 | 22 | 21 |





