










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 45% |
| Smokes | 361 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 509 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,878 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 836 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nana Jr. | 45% | 95 |
| #9 | Supreme Banana | 44% | 205 |
| #10 | John Wilkes Booth | 40% | 30 |
| #11 | The Erie Eggplant | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | Torta Pounder | 29% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme Banana | 63 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | 33 | 0.0386 |
| #3 | CaintEvenNut | 21 | 0.0263 |
| #4 | Nana Jr. | 20 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | anne | 13 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anne | 268 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Torta Pounder | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nana Jr. | 113 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gumbo Slice | 102 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaintEvenNut | +3.22 | 50 | 55 |
| #2 | Nana Jr. | +2.70 | 52 | 42 |
| #3 | Ku Kit Kat Masta | +2.05 | 45 | 55 |
| #4 | John Wilkes Booth | +1.76 | 52 | 16 |
| #5 | anne | +1.03 | 57 | 50 |





