








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,662 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fress1 | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | yoManChigago | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | MrAlias | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Michael Phelps | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | yoManChigago | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | MrAlias | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Michael Phelps | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Make | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoManChigago | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Fress1 | 5 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Make | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | MrAlias | 1 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoManChigago | 213 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 68 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Make | 48 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Michael Phelps | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | MrAlias | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Phelps | +6.18 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | No russians | +4.80 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | Fress1 | +2.75 | 36 | 28 |
| #4 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | -0.62 | 52 | 49 |
| #5 | yoManChigago | -0.76 | 65 | 46 |





