










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4738 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2650 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1987 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,034 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1066 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pommi | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | Einz | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Lewi | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | himaas? | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Petri | 45% | 53 |
| #7 | Eiska | 43% | 163 |
| #8 | Sc0pe | 37% | 27 |
| #9 | Pokko | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | Matti McConaughey | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 37 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Eiska | 36 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Matti McConaughey | 17 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | Petri | 16 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | Pommi | 10 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 1221 | 0.43 | 23 min |
| #2 | Eiska | 658 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Petri | 224 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pommi | 220 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Matti McConaughey | 101 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einz | +5.47 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Pokko | +4.75 | 77 | 36 |
| #3 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | +3.25 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Matti McConaughey | +3.05 | 59 | 43 |
| #5 | Eiska | +2.42 | 60 | 52 |





