








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9653 | 43% |
| Smokes | 3543 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5707 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3568 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,444 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pommi | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | Suomalain Temyz | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Lady Domina | 56% | 72 |
| #4 | Einz | 55% | 151 |
| #5 | ♿Jura | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petri | 38 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Saku | 38 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Eiska | 30 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Lady Domina | 22 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | Einz | 16 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saku | 657 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Petri | 488 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Eiska | 475 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | jaskacaseopening.com | 172 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pommi | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einz | +3.92 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | Eiska | +2.09 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | +1.97 | 51 | 54 |
| #4 | jaskacaseopening.com | +0.80 | 47 | 46 |
| #5 | Pommi | +0.52 | 42 | 50 |





