








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 273 | 17% |
| Smokes | 124 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,289 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoof | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | King Fahd Esports | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | poe | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | bekky | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Anfu | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bekky | 25 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | kez | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | PoopFart69 | 19 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | Secret | 7 | 0.0212 |
| #5 | King Fahd Esports | 6 | 0.0184 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kez | 354 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | PoopFart69 | 347 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | bekky | 129 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | poe | 122 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Anfu | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |





