








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2623 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2314 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2922 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2339 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,455,507 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Fahd Esports | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | poe | 61% | 94 |
| #3 | College Board | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | kez | 54% | 148 |
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | Anfu | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | Ambatron | 49% | 79 |
| #8 | Secret | 47% | 183 |
| #9 | GrayBones | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secret | 68 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | poe | 32 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | kez | 23 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | College Board | 16 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | PoopFart69 | 13 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secret | 537 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | poe | 405 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | kez | 390 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | PoopFart69 | 273 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | College Board | 141 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poe | +7.24 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | PoopFart69 | +4.21 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | bekky | +3.00 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | Secret | +2.09 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | College Board | +0.85 | 60 | 36 |





