








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 32% |
| Smokes | 134 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1251 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,700 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rider | 61% | 83 |
| #2 | HabibiElh | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Dope Pope | 53% | 131 |
| #4 | ultra gay | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Nullzee | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dope Pope | 53% | 131 |
| #4 | ultra gay | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Nullzee | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | Steve Bourbon | 47% | 245 |
| #7 | Shohei Ohtani | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve Bourbon | 74 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | ultra gay | 25 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | Shohei Ohtani | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | ✪ rider | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Nullzee | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve Bourbon | 416 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪ rider | 284 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dope Pope | 214 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shohei Ohtani | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nullzee | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nullzee | +5.68 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Dope Pope | +3.34 | 80 | 36 |
| #3 | ✪ rider | +3.33 | 68 | 41 |
| #4 | Shohei Ohtani | +2.43 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | -0.50 | 52 | 29 |





