








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 29% |
| Smokes | 672 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 654 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,840 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ultra gay | 56% | 77 |
| #4 | ✪ rider | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | 44% | 55 |
| #6 | Steve Bourbon | 38% | 95 |
| #7 | Dope Pope | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve Bourbon | 219 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ rider | 137 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ultra gay | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dope Pope | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rider | +3.51 | 70 | 40 |
| #2 | Shohei Ohtani | +2.12 | 57 | 51 |
| #3 | Dope Pope | +1.17 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | Gunga Ginga | -0.56 | 48 | 30 |
| #5 | ultra gay | -1.09 | 53 | 14 |





