








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3712 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8623 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 4948 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3012 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,612 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nullzee | 56% | 133 |
| #2 | ✪ rider | 53% | 194 |
| #3 | Dope Pope | 53% | 312 |
| #4 | ultra gay | 51% | 174 |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | 47% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ultra gay | 51% | 174 |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | 47% | 245 |
| #6 | LEMONISLIFE| CSGOWitch.com | 46% | 46 |
| #7 | HabibiElh | 44% | 108 |
| #8 | Shohei Ohtani | 38% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunga Ginga | 67 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | ultra gay | 45 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | ✪ rider | 22 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | HabibiElh | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Shohei Ohtani | 14 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rider | 537 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dope Pope | 502 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gunga Ginga | 213 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nullzee | 193 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shohei Ohtani | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nullzee | +5.64 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | Dope Pope | +3.15 | 83 | 38 |
| #3 | ✪ rider | +2.78 | 70 | 40 |
| #4 | Shohei Ohtani | +1.77 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Gunga Ginga | -0.97 | 50 | 27 |





