








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3857 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3294 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,948 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gangrene | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | N1D3L1x | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Reddiethylamine | 54% | 155 |
| #5 | pentti köyri | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korppi | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | N1D3L1x | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | NideLIX | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | pentti köyri | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Reddiethylamine | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1D3L1x | 238 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Korppi | 164 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nidelix | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | NideLIX | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Reddiethylamine | 109 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reddiethylamine | +2.06 | 60 | 60 |
| #2 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | +2.00 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Gangrene | +1.53 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Sika | +1.47 | 39 | 75 |
| #5 | Hullukakkonen | +1.25 | 54 | 64 |





