








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2641 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2728 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2133 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,785 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Korppi | 52% | 73 |
| #7 | Malmin pommittaja | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | pentti köyri | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Sika | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | Nahka Takana | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hullukakkonen | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Sikab | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Korppi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Reddiethylamine | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Malmin pommittaja | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hullukakkonen | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Korppi | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sikab | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | pentti köyri | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Reddiethylamine | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sikab | +3.54 | 44 | 78 |
| #2 | Sika | +3.27 | 44 | 74 |
| #3 | Reddiethylamine | +2.06 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | Hullukakkonen | +2.04 | 51 | 68 |
| #5 | pentti köyri | -0.15 | 46 | 58 |





