








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2720 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2848 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2673 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,093 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 100% | 21 |
| #2 | P0iS0N0uS | 100% | 23 |
| #3 | K’uk’ulkan ⛟ | 89% | 18 |
| #4 | GR0LAR | 88% | 17 |
| #5 | Uncle Roger | 82% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GROLAR | 71% | 119 |
| #8 | Sahar Luna | 66% | 29 |
| #9 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 62% | 29 |
| #10 | SPECTRE | 54% | 24 |
| #11 | Hyrax | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyrax | 8 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | GROLAR | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Uncle Roger | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | GR0LAR | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | 106 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | GROLAR | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hyrax | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 76 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sahar Luna | 56 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒀 | +5.13 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | GR0LAR | +3.16 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | +2.91 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | P0iS0N0uS | +2.00 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | SPECTRE | +0.57 | 58 | 55 |





