








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11023 | 43% |
| Smokes | 6430 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3608 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,531 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronti | 55% | 133 |
| #2 | nutsack_99 - gaming since 2009 | 53% | 354 |
| #3 | ⛟ | 52% | 274 |
| #4 | n1blo | 51% | 506 |
| #5 | henqka | 49% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nutsack_99 - gaming since 2009 | 53% | 354 |
| #3 | ⛟ | 52% | 274 |
| #4 | n1blo | 51% | 506 |
| #5 | henqka | 49% | 242 |
| #6 | Sami the public racist | 43% | 363 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | 46 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | n1blo | 42 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Sami the public racist | 36 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | henqka | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | nutsack_99 - gaming since 2009 | 13 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1blo | 1989 | 0.20 | 52 min |
| #2 | Sami the public racist | 1355 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #3 | henqka | 1339 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #4 | ⛟ | 1305 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #5 | nutsack_99 - gaming since 2009 | 578 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | +4.27 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | n1blo | +2.79 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | nutsack_99 - gaming since 2009 | +0.62 | 68 | 51 |
| #4 | henqka | -0.13 | 50 | 73 |
| #5 | Sami the public racist | -1.31 | 52 | 59 |





