








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 937 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1305 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1372 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1383 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,525 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harlequin | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Melvin 2.0 | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Hyperion | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | Hooman | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | s4k | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperion | 147 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Harlequin | 91 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | s4k | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hooman | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Melvin 2.0 | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |





