








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 158 | 15% |
| Smokes | 271 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 355 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 276 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,384 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breathy | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | triXtr | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Dick and Balls | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Elixir | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | Orbitalsniper | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dick and Balls | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | triXtr | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | breathy | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Orbitalsniper | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | +7.19 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | Dick and Balls | +5.27 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | breathy | +1.41 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | triXtr | +0.59 | 38 | 53 |
| #5 | Orbitalsniper | -2.45 | 46 | 39 |





