










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1042 | 32% |
| Smokes | 721 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1327 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,716 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 968 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morty | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | YN | 54% | 81 |
| #3 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | Trash Kermit™ | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | I’m Buns ♥ | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morty | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | YN | 54% | 81 |
| #3 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | Trash Kermit™ | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | I’m Buns ♥ | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 25 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | YN | 16 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | I’m Buns ♥ | 13 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Trash Kermit™ | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Morty | 4 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 481 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | YN | 160 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | I’m Buns ♥ | 106 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Trash Kermit™ | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Morty | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trash Kermit™ | +2.36 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | I’m Buns ♥ | +2.26 | 57 | 42 |
| #3 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | +1.57 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | +0.75 | 44 | 43 |
| #5 | Morty | +0.43 | 57 | 38 |





