










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2473 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2058 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2497 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,435 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | 54% | 81 |
| #2 | Morty | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 47% | 348 |
| #4 | I’m Buns ♥ | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Trash Kermit™ | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | 54% | 81 |
| #2 | Morty | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 47% | 348 |
| #4 | I’m Buns ♥ | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Trash Kermit™ | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 61 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | I’m Buns ♥ | 18 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Trash Kermit™ | 16 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | 15 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Morty | 15 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 1122 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Trash Kermit™ | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | I’m Buns ♥ | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Morty | 90 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I’m Buns ♥ | +1.84 | 54 | 40 |
| #2 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | +1.12 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | Trash Kermit™ | +0.75 | 66 | 41 |
| #4 | Morty | +0.56 | 50 | 33 |
| #5 | Shrimp Mega Supreme Beef Burger | +0.17 | 38 | 39 |





