








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1053 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4093 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,780,635 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 719 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chai's Cat Toy | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | DumpyDom | 58% | 138 |
| #3 | LuiGy | 56% | 70 |
| #4 | Dongerlordjr | 56% | 135 |
| #5 | Father Mako | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | YN | 14 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Dongerlordjr | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | DumpyDom | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Father Mako | 7 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | 378 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | DumpyDom | 374 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dongerlordjr | 265 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | YN | 159 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Father Mako | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Father Mako | +2.39 | 54 | 51 |
| #2 | DumpyDom | +1.94 | 42 | 52 |
| #3 | I’m Buns ♥ | +1.89 | 57 | 46 |
| #4 | Chai's Cat Toy | +0.48 | 47 | 41 |
| #5 | SubOptimal ( ◉o◉)⊃ ☆ | +0.40 | 61 | 54 |





